Into The Woods

Lately, I've been riding the emotional seesaw of doubt; I've been doubting the life decisions I've chosen to make, doubting what I stand for (as a person, a woman, and a homosexual), doubting myself as being the kind of writer who could possibly make a difference, AND the thing about all of those dubious thoughts is that I've been consciously striving to create stability in my life, something that had been quite lacking until recently. So when I finally acknowledged and/or became aware of the fact that I was tossing the "inner doubt ball" back and forth, I decided to do something about it.

I took the time off of work and I missed a few (read: more than a few) classes and I headed to the woods for a little inner-me vacation. There is something about spending time amongst the fresh air and the beanstalk-sized trees that makes me feel restoratively small; as if the extraordinary beauty of the forest somehow, perhaps magically, edges itself into your mind and positions everything into perspective, and in that smaller-self you can better grasp what your life is all about.

Here's what I learned in the woods:
Thoughts are thoughts, and they have the freedom to come and go as they please; AND we, as active and aware human beings, have the capability to buy into those thoughts, but that's all that it is, a capability. Our thoughts don't have the power to dictate our behavior and they certainly don't have the power to place barricades along our life paths. I am going to adopt a mentality of letting those thoughts be and then letting those thoughts pass, as they choose, and, all the while, continuing in my journey of who I want to be.