Tuesday, March 3

Fantasize This!

Would you like it in a house?
Would you like it with a mouse?
Would you eat her in a box?
Would you eat her with a fox?

Okay, I'll grant that Dr. Seuss says "eat it" not "eat her"* but the idea of fantasy is clearly at the forefront of this classic children's book. Sam-I-Am presents his mysterious and moody neighbor with a series of scenarios in the hopes that it will tantalize the unnamed man into trying his "Green Eggs and Ham." The neighbor is rigid in his refusal to try the new treat; however, when he finally submits to Sam's unrelenting pleas, he realizes that he, in actuality, loves green eggs and ham.

I would venture to assume that we have all been in that similar situation...on either side. You/Your partner want to do something, sexually, that you/your partner aren't real keen on, so you/your partner offer sexual ameliorations, like, "Would you do it if we were drinking?" "Would you do it if there was a secure latex barrier?" "Would you want to watch it in a video first?" And often, when we finally surrender to our partners’ desires, we end up enjoying it just as much, if not more. (They say that the average woman that tries fisting goes on to fist at least three more women.)

Fantasies are so important when it comes to developing a fulfilling sex-life. I learned in Psychology 101 that Freud suggests that people who are experiencing sexual fantasies are sexually deprived or frustrated or that they lacked adequate sexual stimulation and satisfaction. I think that nothing could be further from the truth. The ability to fantasize when you are with someone shows a comfort level, a safety zone, it shows that you can fully and confidently be with that person and trust them enough to let your mind wander. The more comfortable I am with someone, the more able I am to indulge my “sexual fantasy life.”

I spent the first 21.5 years of my life immersed in an incredibly religious environment; first in childhood and then by my choice in early adulthood. I was absolutely taught that thinking was sinful; that as long as you focused on what was true, then your mind would be unable to fantasize. I was taught that fantasy was a sign of weakness. As a result, I became a machine. I was so afraid that my thoughts were going to lead to something sinful that I didn't allow myself to have any thoughts, no matter what they were about.

If we teach people that they should limit their thought process, then we are teaching them to limit themselves, and there is nothing more damaging than that. I, so thoroughly, believe that fantasy is a vital part of any meaningful sexual relationship and that if you minimalize any part of your partner, then you are minimalizing them as a person. I don't think that hiding from or limiting your thoughts can ever be useful or productive or healthy. Allowing room for your fantasies, sexual or otherwise, allows you to embrace and indulge in who you are. What's more beautiful than that?

*P.S. I should write that book, "Great Legs and Wham: A Simplistic Guide to Seducing Straight Girls." (Wham, as in, "to hit it"...get it?) The cover would be just like the one pictured here, except it would be a picture of a lady leaning over to look at a table of lesbian sex toys. It would all be done in rhyme and it would use no more than 50 words, just like the original...

Would you? Could you? In a car?
Eat them! Eat them! Here they are!


I would not, could not, in a car.

You may like it. You will see.
You may like it in a tree.


I would not, could not, in a tree.
Not in a car. You let me be.

2 comments:

jb said...

Stef....the gummy bears..well let me put it to you this way...i never knew you could hide gummy bears in there.....hahaha but oh..so delissssssouss at the same time until they decide to come right back up. Thanks for the drop by join my followers list so I can keep track of you....trust me your going to like the ride. Wait till i post my 10 scary things that tell you you've drank too much lololol. Now... I'm going to read your post to comment.

Huggs
JB

As for the bench I did find my cloths behind this bush of trees and it wasn't yet light out so I ran my ass home....really fast....

jb said...

"Great Legs and Wham: A Simplistic Guide to Seducing Straight Girls." (Wham, as in, "to hit it"...get it?) hahhahahah sorry i already wrote that book. My friends call me the converter... it's not that hard to seduce staright women trust me on this it's not.

I've been doing it since I came out and that was a freaking long time ago. I could help you write that book because I got enough stories about straight women but well then that would be cheating.

As for Freud, your write and I find him to be a dick...I like Yung better and his idea on fantasy and sexual exploration. Also Simone de Beauvoir has an interseting take on the the whole lesbian idea of what sex is. Hey you should read Aniss Ninn novels she is fanatasic.

See Stef..I'm not all about gummy bears, nakedness, staright girls, and ice cream bars.

Huggs
JB