It's the story we tell our generations to corroborate the belief that we are a country based in virtue, generosity, and courage; and if you grew up in the United States public school system you know it well. On September 6, 1620 a group of puritans fleeing religious persecution set sail on a boat called the Mayflower and 65 days later they settled in a town called Plymouth. In that brutal winter, many of the aforementioned Pilgrims lost their lives to the seasonal conditions and when it was time for the harvest, the surrounding Wampanoag Indians aided the colonizing Pilgrims in their new world duties, thus ensuring the Puritans a successful and prosperous autumn. A celebratory dinner was thrown; American Indians and Pilgrims sat together, offering us the perfect portrait of respect and harmony between two divergent cultures.
I am not going to bash Thanksgiving. I am not going to comment on the many ironies that surround this historic holiday. I admire the fact that we, as a country, strive to value gratitude for the things present in our lives; in fact, Thanksgiving is, and always has been, my favorite holiday. In days that are filled with bank statements and war stories, it is more than refreshing to spend a little time accounting for what we have to be thankful for. Even if this holiday has become more about football and retail sales and avoiding family fights, it's grounded in integrity (much thanks to Lincoln) and good will, which is what the holiday season is all about.
This is my first holiday season since coming out to my family; it is also my first holiday season since separating myself from all things religion. Ninety-five percent of my holiday memories are explicitly tied to church and lately I've been feeling a little lost without being able to take part in any of those traditions. (In full disclosure: even if I still wanted to participate in those traditions, I wasn't invited to over half of them.) I wish that I could say that I'm going to embrace the meanings behind the traditions; that I'm going to live out this holiday season with the values of Christmas, even though I'm leaving the sacraments of it behind, but I'm just not strong enough...yet. In all honesty, negativity is quickly making its way into my holiday season and I'm having a hard time enjoying myself.
So... rather than a new years resolution, I am making a holiday season resolution. This holiday season I am not going to dwell on the things that I don't have: traditions, a job, or a girlfriend. I am not going to worry about the things I don't have control over: party invitations, the economy, or what my family members think about my life. I am not going ignore that it's the holiday season, merely because I'm having a hard time mustering up enough strength to enjoy it. I have a lot to be thankful for so I'm going to extend myself contentment this holiday season...and perhaps I'll liquor up my coffee.
P.S. I read the most exceptionally moving book this weekend called, "Are There Closets in Heaven?", which is a beautifully written story about the relationship between a lesbian daughter and her Catholic father. It's unlike any gay memoir I've read and I highly recommend it...oh, and clear some time in your calender to go see "Milk", it's fantastic.
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